Ocean City Today

Santa Claus extraordinary surfer

Surf Report
By Dave Dalkiewicz | Dec 21, 2017

(Dec. 22, 2017) Santa Claus is a real person and an extraordinary surfer. True story, no kidding.

In fact, he’s so extraordinary that not only does he surf on water but actually does so in the air as well. What enables all of this special activity is an object known as a foil. It’s attached to his sleigh and is, more or less, directly akin to an airplane wing which will produce lift in the air and on water.

To get a good idea of how this works, have a look at YouTube. Being that a picture is worth a thousand words, the ratio would become favorable at some point. My thousand words typically working out one way or another.

Due to the efficiency of the foil, relief can be had for the reindeer. They are an integral part of Santa’s journey and won’t have to work as hard during the air/water influenced travel. Surfer Santa, Santa Claus the surfer, goes a long way with a “foil sleigh” getting around the world in a timely fashion. This is all about energy both in the air and in the water manifested in waves, utilized by the foils.

In more common usage foils, or hydrofoils, will be attached to SUP’s (stand-up paddleboards), surfboards, multi-hulled sailboats and commuter type ferry boats. Regarding speed, all of these different types of vehicles will go fast; very fast. Considering the air, foils are more in the form of wings on various sized airplanes again able to go, travel, fly at high speeds; very fast.

In more recent times, Santa has really tricked out his sleigh. In addition to the foils on the runners of the sleigh he’s added wings to the body therefore raising the capacity of his rig exponentially. The elves had to be kept busy in the slower times of the year and along with Santa they combined their efforts to produce a top-notch vehicle; very fast and very efficient.

Santa needed something extra to augment the reindeer power to reach everyone around the world, especially with the population growing so quickly in these more recent times.

Now lest you think that there’s no skill involved in riding and controlling this supercharged sleigh, think again. Santa’s had to practice and train to keep up with his modified vehicle. That rotund body and long beard is a clever disguise to keep prying eyes at bay.

Space agencies both private and governmental have tried to get a hold on what Santa is up to only to reconsider after seeing the belly, beard and crazy clothing of the crafty benevolent man. NASA and Elon Musk figure that they can spend their time on better things than to catch up with our boy, although they have their suspicions.

With all the friction caused by the extensive practice and training, the speculation is that much of the arctic ice melt might be the result of Santa having his headquarters at the North Pole.

In order to satisfy an audience and maintain his anonymity, he’s employed his elf crew once again to go out in his place at various public gatherings, parties and civic events. Apparently Santa is quite popular especially in the month of December and with younger folk.

Having a guy like Santa in our world is certainly a welcomed addition, much needed in these times of political, economic and international strife. Even the entertainment/comedic world try to deny him at some point. Back in the day, Groucho Marx had a line to the effect of, “There ain’t no Sanity Clause!”

Well, I’m here to tell ya that there is, tricked out sleigh, elves and all. Santa Claus is an exquisite surfer and an extraordinary person with the utmost integrity. True story, no kidding.

Dave Dalkiewicz is the owner of Ocean Atlantic Surf Shop in Ocean City.

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