The Public Eye
Pine pollen? Be afraid.
Scientists have proven that the pitch pine, sometimes known as black pine in this region, is not generating great clouds of yellow pollen, but is the earthly host of tiny alien life forms whose mission is to smother us with their tiny yellow carcasses.
How else can you explain the fact that, even with the windows closed, these little creatures find their way into our homes, onto our furniture, clothing and even food? I say they are being guided by a higher intelligence and are lying in wait until the signal comes from the mother ship.
Well, maybe not. But scientists do say that pine pollen is not the allergen that we often think it is. They say these particles are too big to make our noses run and eyes water and that the real culprits are broad-leafed trees and the small plants that generate close-toinvisible specks of pollen. Whatever. It's a mess.
Florida weighs landmark law
The Associated Press reported this week that the Florida State Senate has passed a bill that would make it a crime for anyone to have sex with an animal.
Yes, really.
Florida is one of 16 states that does not have such a law. There is no word yet on what the House will do, or whether alligators will be exempted because they can pretty well take care of themselves in this regard.
Beer saves economy
Beer is good for us in so many ways. It makes people better looking, for one, and according to some individuals, a lot smarter. But now we have facts and figures to prove it. According to a study just released by The National Beer Wholesalers Association, the total economic impact of beer on the 1st Congressional District of Maryland was $366,182,694.05 in 2008.
That's three hundred sixty-six million plus change. And that doesn't even count last Monday night! Of that total, $36 million was sales and excise taxes, and the other $75.7 million was in business and personal taxes.
What does all this mean? It means we now have a better excuse for getting home an hour later than promised.
"But, honey, I was working on the economy."
